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It may have been ur mistake, but it was not GOD's. The child life has purpose, as do u. Third, U have to tell him now!

If he is to forgive u and accept this child, he'll need time to heal from the pain u have inflicted. Don't wait until the caramel colored, curly head kid gets here and act surprised.

That would be like pouring salt in a wound. Talk with ur pastor and be prepared to accept whatever feelings ur husband expresses.

It will be a difficult road ahead. But remember, Gods grace will be sufficent. If u can read, Marriage Undercover by the Meisners, it is a true story about a woman in ur exact position whose relationship was made whole thru the ordeal.

It is a testament to the power of restoration and Gods love. So when i came back to Iowa my husband and I You need to think very clearly because the decisions you make in the next few weeks will determine the course of the rest of your life.

Ignore all the people on here who tell you to slit your wrists, admit this to your husband and consequences be damned. Having an abortion is a woman's protected right for a reason -- having a child under these circumstances would disrupt your marriage and possibly your career.

My advice would be to have an abortion as soon as possible, don't let people on the internet guilt trip you into having the child of a man you don't even know or want anything to do with and destroying your marriage.

We all make mistakes, and your biggest task will be to learn to forgive yourself for what happened. You can tell your husband if you want, and I know it seems dishonest not to, but if you really do love him and did not intend to cheat and it was the alcohol, do you want to break his heart?

He may never be able to trust you again, especially considering you did not tell him when it first happened.

Again, my advice is to get the abortion, pass it off as a miscarriage, and have a child with the man you love, and do your best to put all of this behind you.

Ok the damage the affair is done so lets evaluate what is before you You have to first take the blame yourself don't even mention when you tell your husband "I was drunk" that is a cop out Your husband might be the forgiving type and maybe between the 2 of you..

It will take a long time for him to trust you again See a councillor now I would tell him. Let him help decide what to do. I would not go the abortion route for a few reasons.

You may regret the decision if you are still unable to conceive with your husband and wish you kept the child that you were able to have.

But I also question how you know that the baby isn't your husband's if the two of you had been trying before and after your slip?

It isn't worth taking the chance and surprising your husband. But I hope you will let him know there is every chance it could be his, only one that it isn't.

You say that HE wants a baby? Does that mean that you don't? Sounds like you need help to not be so controlling or abusive. Check yourself into the jail or seek out a therapist.

Simple you man up grow a pair put the tramp in the past and go on with your life. It gets better as time passes.

Be extremely cautious. If you harm or threaten her you can end up in jail. Also if you trash her property it could also be considered a threat and again you can be jailed.

She will then get a restraining order on you. Keep it up and she will divorce you and take everything the two of you own while you sit in your jail cell.

If a woman cheats on you, you can't forgive her because if she did it once it can happen again so move on man thats the only way.

Ever heard the saying "there's too many fish in the sea". Trending News. Virus-stricken Patriots star sends clear message to fans.

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This is something that only you can decide. It will largely depend on your values and the kind of relationship you want.

There certainly is a chance that if he finds out, he will. The truth is many relationships recover from infidelity and emerge stronger than before.

Relationships where infidelity is confessed as opposed to being found out have a higher chance of succeeding.

On a recent weekend away, the worst betrayal happened. Picture: iStock Source:Supplied. A recent study of couples in therapy found that marriages in which someone keeps infidelity a secret are twice as likely to divorce as when infidelity is disclosed.

The longer it takes to find out, the more difficult it can be to recover from. Finding out that you lied when asked about it can feel like a double betrayal.

It will require that you take responsibility, are genuinely remorseful about what happened and you both choose to work through it.

Sexologist and couples therapist Isiah McKimmie. Picture: Supplied Source:Supplied. Do you know what led you to pursue another man? Understanding the factors that led to this may help your partner be more understanding and will help avoid anything like this happening again.

Picture: iStock Source:istock. Welcome to Relationship Rehab, news. I have a group of girlfriends that I have known for a very long time and, we go away at least twice a year together for a few days at a time.

The last time we went away I met a guy while at a pub and we hit it off straight away. I ended up sleeping with him a couple of times while I was away.

My girlfriends know all about it and are all very disappointed with me for what I did because they all know how amazing my husband is.

This is something that only you can decide. It will largely depend on your values and the kind of relationship you want.

There certainly is a chance that if he finds out, he will. The truth is many relationships recover from infidelity and emerge stronger than before.

Relationships where infidelity is confessed as opposed to being found out have a higher chance of succeeding.

On a recent weekend away, the worst betrayal happened. Picture: iStock Source:Supplied. A recent study of couples in therapy found that marriages in which someone keeps infidelity a secret are twice as likely to divorce as when infidelity is disclosed.

The longer it takes to find out, the more difficult it can be to recover from. Ever heard the saying "there's too many fish in the sea". Trending News.

Virus-stricken Patriots star sends clear message to fans. Ruby Tuesday files for bankruptcy amid pandemic. State tells meteorologist to 'stay home' amid hurricane.

Taylor Swift endorses Joe Biden for president. Ex-Obama adviser concerned about Trump tweets. The coronavirus can live on your skin for hours: Study.

Hugs and misses: NFL's plan for season is failing. White House outbreak even worse than previously known. Answer Save. Sweetheart88 Lv 5.

Favorite Answer. No wonder your wife is messing around. You are a racist jerk. Good for her. How do you think about the answers?

You can sign in to vote the answer. But if you love her, you'll find a way. And your insecurities will continue to grow as will your suspicions and distrust.

Don't wast time and months or even years trying to figure it out She committed adultry Since this post is 9 months old with no updates, this should be discussed as an event that others may have questions about to determine options.

My opinion; as devastating as an affair can be, his real concern was with the information he had to make decisions with.

His view of black lovers has been biased by various medias to be viewed as bigger, longer, more stamina, etc resulting in better sex. This view point has emasculated him and without confidence he will not be able to move forward.

Then there is the other part of this equation is she lied and what makes him think that her answer wasn't a lie also. Again, 'once you go black you don't go back' is a powerful media statement that will not go away in his mind.

She will need to take responsibility for her actions, regain his trust, be honest about the consequences, and prove that this wasn't a game breaker.

This path will be painful and bitter, some things can never be forgotten, and life has changed - either accept it or walk away. As for I To gymgirlie; Sorry to bust your bubble but, being 60, I have seen first hand what Isis is doing here.

Here is some information about Isis56 from the many threads on this site. Her father in law and his best friend are high ranking members of the KKK.

She has denied sex to her husband for over 3 decades while carrying on affairs. She has on a number of occasions been involved with violent attacks against her husband.

She was convicted of abusing her husbands civil rights and is now on home detention for the next 2 years. She is Bi Polar and the responsibility of the husband who tried to get divorced and was forced to stay married by a judge who was friends with the father in law.

She admits, she she had a life and her husband didn't. She also admits that all the professions involved agree that she and her father in law created this person you call a psychotic who admits to having PTSD effective because of the abuse he has suffered in life.

I apologize if I offended you gymgirlie, but I have worked with mental health professional for over 20 years in the job I have. In their own words, when the touchy feely approach does not work you need to go to a hard line approach.

In their opinion, when a patient refuses to take responsibility for their actions, they will create a toxic environment that destroys everyone around a threat to society.

Isis56 is on at least different topic boards on this site and the story she tells is the same every time - society needs are more important then individual needs.

Since her society is KKK based, bigotry is a major factor. Again, I'm am sorry you disagree with me but, I agree to disagree with you based on my life experience of the last 60 years.

I don't believe that society has the right to enslave individuals, any one race is supreme, or that infidelity is just a humiliation. Peace gymgirlie.

You misread again. I called Is56 as living with and in a psychotic I whined at you because this topic is about some poor guy that found out his wife had an affair and I whined about you misreading Is56 post because you jumped on her even though her big long winded story had nothing to do with the title of this post If anyone actually took the time to sit right in front of me and read that entire post and I could sit with Chuck line for line with the first post, comparing it to Is56 post and compare her writings with your backlash I suggest you and all the other posters agree on a new thread called I think its great that you have all this insight Chuck but try to stick to the original poster instead of all that you know about Izzy from other posts, that alone should spark a red alert to ignore All she said on this post was in the early 90's she dated a few I don't care what posts you have read lately Now, can anyone else in this post tell the original post person that he is lucky to have his wife back with him in counselling who hasn't left him and that he should stop obsessing himself out of a relationship period because he is so hyper focused that any other wife probably would have left by now because he nit pics things to the point where most would have run to anything else by now and it wouldn't matter if it were an affair or with what dude or if she had joined a knitting class or decided to have a career, but that this poster would have found a way to look at the negative and put all the focus on poor poor him?

It appears that you are right and I am wrong. This thread is about cheating and trust, and their consequences. As for the story Isis56 is the wife of Odinseye55, who you say is psychotic , it has little to do with racial myth black men are better and cultural myths KKK is superior.

I now understand that my shaming is all my fault and need to move on. With that said, I have only been on this forum for less than one month because several people I know come here for advice.

I now see that my advice is in conflict with forum policy and apologize for any conflict that has ensued. Goodbye, I will no longer be giving my personal opinion me, me, me on the threads that I have participated in as Chuck or Guest.

Sorry Odinseye and Isis, there comes a time when things must end to move forward, it is about now and not the past story.

I went to a "mostly" black high school and played sports there as well. I can tell you from what I saw in the locker room They ALL have huge dicks.

Your wife must have been in heaven. Yes you bet he is bigger I do not know about better. So get out now before you get hurt some more.

R elationship T alk. My wife cheated with a black man By insecurealot, 5 years ago on Being Married. Are the rumors true?

If she really loves you, then those questions do not matter. I was her first when we got married. She's never had anyone to compare me with I know she choose me and all Believe your wife.

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